NiteRunner: Manhood (short)
by VergilsBitch
Summary: Dante feels inadequate after watching a cutscene from the new DmC game.


"So what are you corrupting Nite with?" Vergil asked

"I'm not corrupting her... and it's the new Devil May Cry game" Dante replied

"Dante's doing really well..." Nite chirped "... both of them"

Vergil placed a bowl of chips onto the table in front of them of which Nite and Dante took a handful.

"Where are you up to?" Vergil said putting his hand on Nite's shoulder. Nite was sat on the floor with her legs crossed in front of Vergil, while Dante was sitting with his legs wide open on the couch... scratching himself.

"I've just reached the end of this mission. I've had to avoid lasers, while you, I mean, that Vergil turned off the surveillance systems."

Nite coughed, "I avoided the lasers because Dante nearly threw the controller through the screen with a few choice swear words."

Nite sat back while Vergil draped his arms over her shoulders and said, "That's my lunar demon."

Nite turned and smiled at him, "It wasn't that difficult, he just made it seem like it was."

"Puh-lease you guys are making me sick... plus, you're only sitting like that so you can ogle Nite's cleavage..."

Nite took a cushion and covered herself, "Well, it's okay for Vergil to... not you."

Dante shook his head "ah, cutscene..."

"You made it" Vergil said on the tv.

"Smug bastard", Nite mumbled as she dusted the crumbs from her lap.

As the twins checked off who was better on the game, the real twins also checked off between them... however, when It came to Vergil's "I've got a bigger dick", the room went silent.

Nite and Vergil turned to Dante who had turned red and looked about ready to explode.

"D... are you okay?" Nite asked.

"HE IS NOT BIGGER THAN ME!" Dante shouted

Dante stood up, dropped the controller and thought for a second... "I know Nite, you've seen Vergil's, and you can tell me if his is bigger" He then started to fiddle with his belt and trousers. When he dropped them Vergil covered Nite's eyes with both hands.

"Thank you" Nite said.

"Please, just let her look and she can tell me" Dante pleaded.

"No" Vergil and Nite said in unison.

"But, I've helped you out a million times" Dante replied

"That's different" Nite said "I only have eyes for one man and at the moment, he's saving my eyesight."

"Vergil, drop your trousers" Dante snapped

Nite laughed and Vergil chuckled, "No."

"Yeah, that way, Nite won't have to look and I find out who's bigger."

"NO!" Vergil exclaimed

Nite gestured her hand for Vergil to come closer to her and she whispered in his ear... Vergil appeared to think about what Nite said...

"Please Verge?" Dante asked again

Nite moved the cushion over her eyes and Vergil stood up. She could then hear Vergil's belt and trousers rustling, "Happy now?"

The air turned blue.

"I want a ruler, set-square... anything!"

"I can see why father gave you Rebellion" Vergil laughed.

Dante yelled profanities at his brother.

Nite sat there for a few minutes still behind her cushion, thinking about what she could do to stop this.

Nite threw the cushion back onto the chair and stormed out of Dante's office. The twins didn't notice that she had left, the continued arguing.

About ten minutes later Nite stormed back in.

"Where have you been?" Vergil asked.

Nite placed on the table a chopping board, with two sausages "I've just come back from the butchers... and they let me borrow the chopping board."

"I swear those sausages are bigger than me" Dante mumbled

Vergil chuckled and Dante hit him.

Ignoring the twins, Nite carried on. "And this, is my new friend" she said pulling out a meat cleaver from a bag... and slammed the blade of the cleaver onto the sausages.

The boys jumped and pulled their trousers up.

Nite smiled and ran her thumb along the blade of the knife, "I assume I proved my point?"

"Yes" Dante said covering his crotch of his trousers with his hand.

Nite licked the blood off of her thumb, "Good". She then threw the sausages in the bin and casually strutted out of the office to return the board and knife to the butcher.

Dante coughed and looked at his brother, "I can see why you love her the way that you do..."

Nite came back, sat back on the floor, picked up the controller and said, "Now, where were we?" As if nothing happened.

Vergil looked at Dante, shrugged then sat behind Nite again.

"D, get us some more chips" Nite said

"I think I'll have a sausage roll", Vergil chuckled.

Dante fumed and stormed out of the room leaving Nite and Vergil crying with laughter.


End file.
